Christian Abortion Healing: When Bad Decisions Leave You Asking, “How Did I Get Here?”
What happens when one wrong turn leads to another and you end up somewhere you never thought you would be? This is a story about shame, identity in Christ, and finding your way forward.
Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, How in the world did I get here? I have…..more than once.
Years ago, I took my kids camping in the Colorado mountains. If you know me, you know I love an adventure, especially when it involves mountains, nature and making memories with my kids.
One afternoon, we decided to go sightseeing. I saw a mountain pass and thought it looked like fun, so up we went. At first, everything was fine. Then the road started getting narrower. The climb got steeper. The drop-offs got a whole lot more intimidating.
Eventually, I reached a place where I knew I had a decision to make. I could find a way to turn around, or I could keep going.
I kept going.
That one decision led to another, and before long, there was no turning around. I was gripping the steering wheel with sweaty palms, my kids in the vehicle with me, navigating hairpin turns on a mountain road where I couldn’t even see the edge of the drop-off past the hood of my vehicle.
I remember thinking, Amy, how did you get us here? I hadn’t set out looking for danger. I wanted an adventure. I wanted beautiful scenery and a fun memory with my kids. Instead, a series of decisions had taken us somewhere I never intended to go. Years later, I realized that wasn’t the only time I’d traveled a road like that.
Nobody Plans to End Up There
Most of us don’t wake up one morning and decide to blow up our lives. It happens little by little.A boundary moves. Something you know isn’t right gets justified. You ignore a warning. You tell yourself you still have everything under control. Then you make another choice, and another, until something that once would have been unthinkable doesn’t seem quite as unthinkable anymore.
That’s what happened to me. I was a Christian. I had given my life to Jesus when I was 11 years old. I went to church. I was married and raising three small children. From the outside, I knew how to look like I had it all together, butI didn’t.
There were cracks in my marriage, cracks in my heart and places in my relationship with God that I didn’t want anyone to see. Instead of dealing with them, I kept moving in the wrong direction.One bad decision led to another until I eventually found myself facing something I never thought would be part of my story.
Abortion.
Suddenly, I wasn’t looking at someone else’s situation from the safety of a church pew. I was the woman in the situation. That’s where this week’s episode of The Worthy Womb Podcast begins.
When You Know Better and Still Get It Wrong
There’s a particular kind of shame that comes when you knew better.
I knew Jesus. I knew Scripture. I knew right from wrong. Knowing that didn’t make it easier to run to God. For me, it did the opposite, I hid frofm Him and everyon that I loved.
That’s one of the most dangerous things about shame. It convinces you that the very God you need to run toward is the One you need to hide from. It whispers lies like, “You should KNOW better. What would people think if they knew? How can you call yourself a Christian after this? You’ve gone too far now.”
If abortion is part of your story and you love Jesus, you may know that battle. You believe in forgiveness. You believe in grace. You can quote the Scriptures and encourage somebody else to receive them. Then the conversation turns toward your own story and something inside you whispers, Yeah, but what about what I did?
That’s the woman I’m talking to because abortion may be part of your story, but abortion is not your identity.
One Wrong Turn After Another
When I look at the story of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11, I see something I understand very differently now than I once did. David didn’t arrive at the worst part of his story with one decision. There were opportunities to stop along the way. There were warnings. There were exits, but he kept going in the wrong direction.
I know something about that and maybe you do too?
Your road may look nothing like mine. Your decisions may be completely different. But most of us know what it’s like to look backward and see a place where we wish we had stopped, listened, spoken up, walked away, asked for help or simply turned around.
The question isn’t whether you can go back and change it. You can’t. Neither can I. The question is, what happens now?
How Do I Get Out?
This week’s episode is the first part of my testimony, and I’m taking you into some places in my story that aren’t easy for me to revisit.
I’m going to tell you how a Christian woman who loved Jesus ended up somewhere she once believed she could never go. We’re going to talk about bad decisions, compromise, abortion, shame, the warnings I ignored and what David’s story taught me about how far one wrong turn can take us.
Listen, I’m not giving you the whole testimony here…. for that, you’re going to have to come sit with me on the porch swing.
If you’ve ever looked at your life and whispered, “How did I get here?” this conversation is for you. If abortion is part of your story and you’ve wondered whether you’ll ever truly be free from the shame attached to it, I especially want you there.
Your worst decision may be part of your story, but it does not get to tell you who you are.
You can’t change the road behind you, but you can choose your next step. Come sit with me on the front porch swing of The Worthy Womb Podcast. We’re going to talk about it. If you recognize yourself in my story and you know that you need help getting back on track withthwere youowant your life to be, then your next step is to book a complimentary identity restoration evaluation call with me. Just click the button below to get started.
