Have you ever felt that God wanted you to move forward, but something kept pulling you back? Following an encounter with abortion, it is very common to get stuck in shame and guilt. Have you ever felt frustrated and limited in your Christian walk because you wanted to be free from shame, but you did not know how, because healing always seemed beyond your grasp? I know this was true for me, but what I failed to understand was that fear was feeding the monster of shame.
I want you to take a real look at it, but do not stop there. If you keep peeling back the painful layers, you will realize that fear itself is rarely the real problem. Identity is. Once fear convinces you of the wrong identity, every decision gets filtered through that belief. If you believe you’re disqualified, you’ll act disqualified. If you believe you’re broken, you’ll live from brokenness. If you believe God can’t use you, you’ll never fully step into what He’s calling you to do.
For women carrying the hidden weight of abortion trauma, fear doesn’t just whisper. It settles in and begins rewriting what they believe about themselves. It says you’re damaged. It says you’ve gone too far. It says your story disqualifies you. It says God may forgive you, but He certainly couldn’t use you.
The problem isn’t that you don’t love Jesus. The problem isn’t that you don’t want healing. The problem is that underneath every fear is a lie, and until that lie is exposed, fear keeps driving the car.
In Episode 2 of The Worthy Womb Podcast, we looked at the woman at the well. Shame had her hiding in plain sight, coming to the well at noon to avoid people, avoid judgment, and avoid the pain she carried inside. This is pivotal for you to understand about shame…. shame left unhealed doesn’t stay still. Eventually, it gives birth to fear. Shame pulls you back into your past. Fear steals your future.
Fear sounds reasonable on the inside. “What if people find out? What if they look at me differently? What if I fail? What if God can’t use someone like me after what I’ve done?” That’s what makes fear so dangerous. It doesn’t show up looking like an enemy. It sounds like wisdom. It sounds like caution. It sounds like self-protection. All the while, it’s quietly stealing everything God wants to do in and through your life.
In Episode 3 of The Worthy Womb Podcast, we go deeper into the stories of Hagar and Gideon, unpack the O in the W.O.M.B. Protocol, and talk about what it actually looks like to stop letting fear lead your life and start agreeing with God’s truth.
We see this pattern throughout Scripture….
Hagar ran because of fear.
Gideon hid because of fear.
They both believed lies about themselves. They both felt unqualified. They both found themselves in places they never expected to be…..And, God met both of them there.
When we meet Hagar in Genesis 16, she’s running through the wilderness carrying rejection, pain, and uncertainty about her future. Maybe you’ve never run into a physical wilderness, but perhaps you’ve run from healing. Maybe you’ve run from grief. Maybe you’ve run from community because carrying it alone felt safer than risking being seen. Maybe you’ve run from sharing your story because fear convinced you people would see you differently if they knew. Here is the really cool part, God didn’t wait for Hagar to get everything together before He showed up. He met her in the wilderness, right in the middle of her fear. In that encounter, Hagar became the first person in Scripture to give God a name. El Roi, the God who sees me. Not the God who sees my mistakes. Not the God who sees my failures. The God who sees me. Friend, some of you need that reminder today. God sees the grief you’ve never spoken about. He sees the tears nobody knows about. He sees the abortion experience you’ve carried in silence. He sees the fear that keeps telling you to stay hidden, and He has not turned away from you.
Fear has a way of convincing us that hiding is safer than healing.
Gideon’s fear looked different. Fear didn’t make him run. It made him shrink. When we meet him in Judges 6, he’s threshing wheat in a winepress, hiding from the Midianites. He was still working. Still functioning. Still showing up. But he was doing it from a place of fear.
How many women are doing the same thing? Still serving. Still smiling. Still showing up at church. Still helping everyone else, yet shrinking back from the very purpose God has placed inside them?
What I want you to see about Gideon is that God shows up and calls him something he cannot see in himself. “Mighty warrior.” Gideon sees weakness. God sees purpose. Gideon sees limitations. God sees calling and when Gideon starts giving God every reason he’s the wrong choice, God doesn’t argue with him. He simply says, “I am with you.” Those four words changed everything.
God’s presence has always been greater than our qualifications.
Many women carrying abortion trauma continue to make Gideon’s argument. It may sound something like, “I’m not qualified; I messed up too badly; God could never use me; My story disqualifies me.”
This is what I’ve learned: the lie itself isn’t the problem. Our agreement with the lie is the problem. That’s why the O in the W.O.M.B. Protocol stands for Overcoming the Lie.
For Hagar, the lie was, “No one sees me.” God’s truth was, “I see you.”
For Gideon, the lie was, “I’m not enough.” God’s truth was, “I am with you.”
As long as those lies go unchallenged, fear gets to drive every decision we make. Freedom begins when the agreement with the lie ends and agreement with God’s truth begins, not when fear disappears, not when we suddenly feel brave, not even when everything becomes comfortable.
Freedom begins when we stop believing what fear says and start believing what God says.
This week, I want to encourage you to sit with Jesus and ask Him two simple questions. “Lord, what lie have I been agreeing with?” Then ask, “Lord, what do You say is true?” Write down what He shows you. Don’t edit it. Don’t overthink it. Just receive it. Then say it out loud.
“Lord, I reject the lie that ______.”
“Lord, I receive Your truth that ______.”
There is power in bringing darkness into the light.
The same God who met Hagar in the wilderness and Gideon in the winepress is meeting women today. Not after they heal. Not after they get everything together. Not after they become brave enough. Right now. In the middle of the questions.In the middle of the grief. In the middle of the fear.
You are not too broken to be called. You are not too messy to be used. You are not too far gone to be found. The God who saw Hagar still sees you. The God who called Gideon out of hiding is still calling you.
The fear you’ve been listening to does not get the final word. God does.
If you’re ready to stop carrying this alone, I invite you to book a complimentary Discovery Call. Together, we’ll identify the lie that’s been driving the fear and begin building a roadmap toward healing, freedom, and restored identity in Christ.
If this article encouraged you, subscribe so you never miss an episode. There is always room for you on the porch swing.
